aeni

Hello my Sunshines!

Let’s talk about my progress in my healing journey today. It’s been a year since I started truly focusing on healing, and I’ve learned so much along the way.

The first seven months? I did it all wrong. I pushed myself too hard, forced myself to forget the pain, and tried to overwork my way out of it. But now, looking back, I realize that’s not what healing is supposed to be.

Now, I want to share what doesn’t work, what actually helps, and the reality of healing — so you can take a more effective approach.

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What Ineffective Healing Looks Like

Some ways of trying to heal can actually slow down your progress. Signs of ineffective healing include:

Ignoring your emotions:

Overworking, overcommitting, or constant activity to avoid dealing with feelings.

Lying to yourself about your true feelings:

Ignoring or denying what you really feel prevents real emotional processing.

Being influenced by other people’s perspectives:

Comparing yourself to others or letting others dictate how you should feel can derail your healing.

Being constantly busy:

Overworking yourself to distract from the pain.

Rushing the process:

Expecting instant results and feeling guilty when you don’t see immediate improvement.

Pretending everything is fine:

Acting happy or productive without addressing the underlying issues.

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Tips That Actually Help

Here’s what works better when it comes to healing:

Face your emotions:

Write in a journal, talk to someone you trust, or take quiet time to reflect.

Set boundaries:

Spend time with supportive people and limit energy-draining influences.

Take care of yourself:

Exercise, meditate, rest, or do things that make you feel calm and happy.

Small steps count:

Focus on small, consistent changes rather than trying to fix everything at once.

Learn from experiences:

Notice which habits or situations help you feel better and which ones don’t.

Take your time:

Healing is not a race. Allow yourself to progress at your own pace without rushing.

Don’t compare yourself to others:

Everyone’s healing journey is unique. Comparing your progress to someone else’s can create unnecessary stress.

Block or remove toxic people:

Surround yourself with supportive, positive influences and distance yourself from those who drain your energy.

Accept the reality and move on:

Recognize situations as they are, let the pain out, make peace with them, and focus your energy on what you can control.

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The Reality of Healing

Healing is non-linear and varies for each person:

Ups and downs are normal:

Some days feel easier than others.

Your timeline is unique:

Focus on your progress, not someone else’s.

It’s ongoing:

Even after improvements, continued self-awareness and reflection are needed.

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As someone on this journey, I know how challenging it can be. I haven’t fully healed yet, and I’m learning that’s okay — part of healing is understanding that it takes time. For me, it has taken a long while to truly feel again, and I’m not rushing the process. This simply shows that my emotions are real. I would never judge anyone, especially ones, who have cried “just because,” because the word just often carries a deeper meaning. I hope that one day, everything will feel okay for everyone.

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